Welcome to Bold Moves Weekly, a segment where I go over what I view as the boldest move of the week. As always it’s important to note; these moves are bold as hell. They may not be good moves, they may not be intelligent, self-preservative moves, but they are certainly bold.
If you don’t live in the state of Oklahoma, you may not know Markwayne Mullin. Hell, you may not know anyone with the first name Markwayne, because it’s an unholy combination of two regular names that someone decided to slam together, and people tend to not do that at all outside of Oklahoma. I don’t want you to be upset about not knowing Markwayne, I just want you to know he’s one of the current representatives from Oklahoma, and this week he held a town hall. During this town hall someone in the audience yelled about the representative being beholden to the voters because they pay his salary. It was at this point that Markwayne made a bold move, saying:
“You say you pay for me to do this? That’s bullcrap. I pay for myself, I paid enough taxes before I got here and continue to through my company to pay my own salary. This is a service. No one here pays me.”
WHY IT’S BOLD:
I’m not here to talk politics, people, I’m here to talk bold moves. Telling the people, who, by the way, very much do pay your salary that they don’t has to be up there on the all-time list. He looked right out at that crowd of voters and said “I don’t have to listen to you, because you don’t pay me, I pay me, Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to make a law where people are nice to me on my birthday.” That may have been paraphrased but you can see it all in the man’s eyes. You know he was mad too, because he broke out “That’s bullcrap” the political equivalent of “fuck that to death”. Markwayne doesn’t work for you. He’s his own man, who pays his own salary, and digs his own verbal grave by supplying whoever he runs against with easy campaign ads from now until forever.
I understand that the pressure is on when confronted by angry constituents, but you can’t just go right to the Jedi Mind Trick. Additionally, as if attempting to perform magic at a government function wasn’t enough, Markwayne doubled down on his bold moves by revealing that he doesn’t understand how taxes work. We can only hope the follow-up town halls don’t lead to questions about why he thinks his taxes and his business’ taxes were put into an account for him, because he’s already exhausted many of his force powers, and I don’t want to watch innocent Oklahomans get zapped to death by force lightning.