A Few Reasons Why Iron Man Should Win the Game of Thrones

WARNING: Game of Thrones Spoilers ahead!

People, “Game of Thrones” is the most watched serial show on television right now. I didn’t do any research to back up that claim, it just feels right. Everyone has watched the ever-growing and shrinking ensemble cast of the show ride around Westeros for the past seven years, but it’s never been quite clear who would win. There are sympathetic reasons for every side, from Danaerys’ dragon army to Jon Snow’s army of guys who smolder while wearing fur cloaks. I’m not here for either of them though, I’m here for the one true king, Iron Man.


Besides winter, missiles are also coming.

Reason 1: He’s Got a Rightful Claim

This one is kind of a long shot so I figured why not start with it. Here’s the deal, all the Baratheon’s are dead. They were fun, some of them were a little bit crazy (looking at you Stannis), but they’re dead. It’s the job of the hand of the last rightful king (Robert Baratheon) to keep the kingdom secure and figure out the proper succession. Since Ned’s also dead, it would go to Jon to get this done. All Iron Man would have to do is descend from the sky and shoot Jon with a laser beam and it would get done.


Artist’s interpretation of Jon Snow post fight

He might not even have to do that. His last name is Stark and he’s easily twenty years older than Jon. That’s as rightful a claim as anyone has at this point. Euron wants the thing for fucks’ sake.

Reason 2: Think Of the Crossover Potential

Maybe Robert Downey Jr. isn’t your favorite Avenger in the series. That’s dumb of you to say, but if it’s how you feel, think of the opportunities this ending to the series would open up. You ever think about the Hulk riding a dragon? I do, and it gets me out of bed in the morning. Baelish getting his ass beat by Samuel L. Jackson doesn’t have to stay a dream for you. This could be our lives, just petition G.R.R. Martin to let Iron Man win the Game.


Simulation Of The Hulk’s Dragon’s Flightpath

Reason 3: Iron Man is Azor Ahai

It’s become clear to me, since the prophecy was clarified to be gender neutral in the last episode, that Iron Man is The One That Was Promised. If you’re unfamiliar with the prophecy behind Azor Ahai, it’s the thing that outlines the person who will save the land from the long night. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, why are you reading this list, you freak.

The prophecy goes something like this:
There will come a day after a long summer when the stars bleed and the cold breath of darkness falls heavy on the world. In this dread hour a warrior shall draw from the fire a burning sword. And that sword shall be Lightbringer, the Red Sword of Heroes, and he who clasps it shall be Azor Ahai come again, and the darkness shall flee before him”

Right off the bat this refers to Iron Man. Iron Man is the king of summer blockbusters, and he thus is very important after every long summer. The stars bleeding obviously refers to the wounding of Jon Favreau AKA “Happy” in the third Iron Man movie. Lasers are, at heart, just very burning swords. Everyone knows this. Ask a physicist. Lasers are made of light, so the laser cannon could easily be renamed Lightbringer.

 


The Clues Are All There, Open Your Eyes.

Reason 4: The Obvious One

It’s called the “Iron Throne”. Why would a non-iron person sit on the Iron Throne. Don’t be stupid.

 

If you think you know anyone with a better claim to the throne, feel free to let me know in the comments.

One comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *