Bold Moves Weekly 7/19-26: John McCain Playing Both Sides

Welcome to Bold Moves Weekly, a segment where I go over what I view as the boldest move of the week. As always it’s important to note; these moves are bold as hell. They may not be good moves, they may not be intelligent, self-preservative moves, but they are certainly bold.

There wasn’t a BMW last week. I know that, I’m the guy who writes them. Even I deserve a vacation every now and then people. Please, you’re working me to death.

I’ll say it for the last time, I am not a witch. I am not a prophet, I am not a soothsayer. I do not predict the future and then let everyone know sometimes in order to mess with them. That being said, I called John McCain’s brain cancer immediately after the Comey hearing. I’m not bringing that up just to remind you that I’m almost always right. No I bring it up because this week’s bold move comes from the man himself, John McCain.

PICTURED ABOVE: A soothsayer, not me.


During the critical vote on whether or not to push the majorly criticized and aggressively secretive AHCA to it’s debate and amendment phase, John McCain played both sides. This is a fun one because it’s technically two moves. First there’s McCain doing this. After that, in a heel turn no one (everyone) could see coming, he went and did this. For our link unfriendly readers, here are some quotes.

MOVE 1 – “Sen. John McCain returned to the U.S. Capitol on Tuesday afternoon to cast a critical vote in favor of health care legislation less than a week after undergoing surgery”

MOVE 2 – ” after the vote (McCain) gave a stirring speech condemning the back-room process that had birthed his party’s health-care legislation in the first place”

In his “stirring” speech, McCain said things like:

“Our responsibilities are important, vitally important, to the continued success of our Republic. And our arcane rules and customs are deliberately intended to require broad cooperation to function well at all.”


“We’re getting nothing done.”


There are some arguments to be made against this move being bold. Namely, we still don’t really have a read on the efficacy of John McCain’s brain, and he may be as confused as ever. I personally think these moves are bold because they directly contradict each other. You can’t make a speech about how deplorable a bill’s creation was immediately after voting against it. You just can’t. Add into that the amazing concept of a man getting off of what could have literally been his deathbed to sign what may end up being a death sentence for millions and the whole thing seems like the most fucked episode of House of Cards imaginable.

“Not Yet, Reaper! I Still Have To Kill The Poor!”

I’m not happy John McCain has brain cancer. Do not go into the comments of this article and start to tell me I wished brain cancer on a person. I’m just talking about senator McCain because these moves directly contradict his reputation as a “Maverick”. Mavericks, in general, do not attempt to placate both sides. This is a late in the game, aggressive rebranding.


There’s lots of people trying to tell me this is okay because he said in his speech that he wouldn’t be voting for the current version of the bill to pass. The vote, with McCain abstaining, would have been 50-49 against. If John McCain really gave a shit about the backroom ways in which this bill was drafted, he wouldn’t be the sole reason it is moving on to debate and amendments. He just doesn’t want to draw any more of Trump’s ire. This is a time he could have cemented his legacy as someone willing to go against their party in favor of the American people. He literally could have been a maverick. Instead, he tried to look like one while voting for the bill, and I’m not having it.

The other important takeaway here is age limits for elected officials. Between elderly statesmen almost dying and our president probably being addled with dementia, there’s gotta be some sort of cutoff. If nothing else, you know Lindsey Graham is gonna try to have a “cool grandpa” phase where he buys a motorcycle or some shit in the next 5 years.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *